Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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