guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Randomize
