Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
