just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize