I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
