adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
sex in a hospital.. check
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
