please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
