i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
