I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
