Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
