Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
