I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
