So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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