What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
