People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
