You were right. It hurts to walk today.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Randomize