he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
you win again, gameday.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
