The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
