pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
no more duck duck goose at the bar
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
