We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
