she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
