does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
