what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
