ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
