I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
