If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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