she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
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