so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
