Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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