cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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