Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
