I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
