we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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