I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
she smelled like a LAN party
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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