He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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