this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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