I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
