I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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