You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Dignity is for republicans.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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