the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
