I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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