The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
