awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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