I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
as a side note pls kill me
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
