so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Randomize
