The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
