Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
