never play flip cup with pint glasses
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
