Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Randomize
