i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
