Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
