You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
