Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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