So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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