I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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