do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize