She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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