I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Randomize
