the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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