oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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