I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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