90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
