She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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