Christians are straight up FREAKS
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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