Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Randomize
