There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
