i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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