sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
