Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
