don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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