IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Randomize
