we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
there is glitter all over my balls
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